Do you remember how challenging it could be as a child to learn the concept of sharing with your siblings? Though the incredible importance of thinking of others’ feelings, and also being fair, was impressed upon us while very young, it may still be a hurdle to minimize sibling squabbles in terms of difficult decisions we have to deal with in adulthood – such as how to fairly divide elderly care costs and requirements for our aging parents.
Gregory French, president-elect of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, points out, “What a family member considers ‘fair’ is very much dictated from that family member’s perspective…there’s a lot of family baggage that comes out, like: ‘Mom paid for your MBA, and she didn’t do that for me.’”
These guidelines can help families achieve an agreement on the most fair division of care for a senior loved one:
- Enlist assistance from a mediator. Sitting down with a reputable third party professional, such as an attorney or financial planner with an area of expertise in elder topics, can go a long way towards trying to keep the dialogue on track and continuing to move forward to the most useful resolution.
- Take into account hands-on caregiving help vs. expenses. Splitting up care reasonably should include a discussion on how much time each sibling can commit to offering caregiving in the home, as well as how much financial care can be offered. For example, a sibling dwelling in close proximity to the senior may contribute more time but lower financial help versus an individual who resides in another state.
- Document the conversation. Putting everything in writing makes sure that everybody is on the same page, and allows the opportunity to go back and evaluate what was agreed upon later if a disagreement should develop.
And first and foremost, agree to put aside any lingering childhood dynamics in order to come together to give the highest quality of care possible.
All Care In Home Care Solutions helps families maintain a healthy life balance through the professional in-home care services for older persons that provide families with ease of mind in realizing their aging loved one is in the best of hands. Partnering with All Care also means that individuals and their families can spend much more quality time together, while our properly trained and experienced caregivers help with some of the more mundane elements of care, such as housekeeping, washing clothes, food preparation, running errands including buying groceries and picking up prescriptions, and much more. Contact us online or call us at (541) 857-9195 for details on home care services in Oregon’s Rogue Valley.